Why I don't like going to church anymore

I had a wonderful time driving into work today; there was an accident up ahead, and traffic came to a stop (I-5 has only 3 lanes up here, so it doesn't take much to slow things down). I was listening to Rita Springer's new worship album, "created to worship" (which by the way is one of the best CDs to worship to that I have found), so I didn't mind the delays. I was really aware of God's presence, and began really wanting to gather with God's people and worship together - which made me lonely and melancholy, but in kind of a good way, if that makes any sense.

Then it occurred to me that in spite of my longing to gather with God's people, I still don't like going to church, and it's much more than thinking I can find the perfect church (I am really, really tired of the "there are no perfect churches" speech). And, I now think I know why, other than the obvious reasons, although it ALL seems so obvious to me now. It's because church, for the most part, has become the job of professionals. Instead of everyone bringing a song, a verse, or whatever, we come to set up chairs or serve coffee or hand out bulletins. The Worship Leader decides how we will worship on any given day. The Pastor decides what we need to hear and think about. Then, in many churches, we can be prayed for by the officially sanctioned Prayer Team.

For so many years, being one of the "professionals," I never noticed. Church WAS an interactive experience for me, at least to some extent, as I could do my worship or sound thing. However, even that was becoming frustrating. However, now that I am just an "attender," I just can't take it anymore. Going to church does not meet my "gathering together" need in the least. Really, the way most people do church, it's no better than worshipping to a CD and then listening to a teaching tape. In fact, the latter may be better because at least then YOU can choose how you feel like worshipping.

I believe that Gathering Together was meant to be interactive, and that means more than just at coffee time. I think most of the worship complaints people have really have to do with this lack of interactivity, and getting this particular need met. Certainly we can worship along, and God meets us as we meet Him; but there is a breakdown of community happening in this dynamic. Should we condemn people for saying, "I couldn't get into worship today"? I don't think so... I think there are valid complaints to be made. If the church opts for a performance model of worship, they are asking for this criticism. Besides, in spite of what the leaders say, it really IS for us. I believe when the author of Hebrews encouraged people to gather together, it was for the people's own sake. I also believe that God instituted worship, not for His sake, but for ours. Yes, it's all about God; but, it is still for us, and for the sake of community. I think corporate worship facilitates the "oneness" that is the Church's destiny.

I am beginning to think that it is the interactive nature of the church - of the parts of the body working together - where the true life of Christ is imparted to us. And, I don't think that in Paul's body analogy he was implying that pouring coffee or setting up chairs was the extent of any part of the body's function. We could spend our lives in church - and many of us have - and still be starving for body life to happen. I don't think that we can ever hope to walk in all that God has for us if we allow professionals to do church for us or to us.

I know that the main argument that the established church will have to all of this is that what I am looking for is to be found in small groups. I will not dispute that. However, then my question is why bother with Sunday morning? I actually can see a couple of reasons to have a Sunday morning (or anytime) large group meeting, if real life is happening in small groups. But, then I still have the same critiques of how we do large gatherings, as I think a platform-oriented program is a bad model for both the small groups as well as for visitors. I think the typical Sunday morning church experience (for the reasons I have mentioned) presents a virtual reality which does not necessarily present an accurate view of the Kingdom.

So, that's why I don't like going to church, in spite of needing it so badly.