It’s All About Me

Alden Swan
December 1, 2004

How many times have you heard the phrase, "it’s not about you?" Chances are it’s more times than you can count. If you’re like me, you’ve probably even said it a few times. After all, it sounds true. It sounds so spiritual, so self-sacrificing, and so downright noble.

The problem is that it’s not true (at least in the way it’s often used). It’s one of the most insidious little clichés I’ve run across in the church, and I believed it myself for a long time. Then one day I started wondering how Jesus would react to it. Just who do you think He died for? Here’s a clue: “For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son…”

Why did Jesus even come to us in the first place? Why did He ascend to Heaven? Why were we given the Holy Spirit? Why is Jesus coming back? In our earnest desire to serve and have the attitude of Jesus and carry out the great commission, we have forgotten that we are the reason for all of this. It is about us.

The problem is that we’ve confused apples and oranges, and in so doing have drifted into heresy. You see, it’s true that the Father wants to glorify the Son (it’s all about Jesus). It’s also true that Jesus wants to glorify the Father (it’s all about the Father). And it’s also true that it’s all about us, for the glory of God. It looks confusing, unless we realize a couple of things.

The Omnidirectional nature of God’s Love

We tend to see things unilaterally, because we’re human. That is, when we say “it’s all about Jesus” we tend to assume that this is an exclusive truth. It’s about Jesus, and therefore it can’t be about us. The truth, however, is that God is not limited to unilateral truths (and for that matter, neither are we). It can be “all about Jesus” and “all about us” – and for that matter, “all about them” – all at the same time. By saying “it’s about me” or “it’s about you” I am not saying that it is not also all about Jesus, and vice versa.

We just have to stop thinking that a focus on Jesus means that we deny that it’s also all about us, because then we are cutting ourselves off from the relationship that God wants to have with us. It is God’s desire (and it’s for His glory) to bless us. If we, in thinking that we are so spiritual, deny ourselves the blessings of God by living legalistic, dry, starved, self-sacrificial lives, we are in fact denying God His glory!

Worship

I believe that even worship was designed completely for our benefit. If we really want to worship God in truth, we need to first of all realize that God doesn’t need our worship (gasp!). God does not have ego issues; in His pre-creation state, He was perfectly complete and satisfied in Himself. That’s core, orthodox theology. God needs nothing from outside of Himself. Therefore, He cannot “need” us to worship Him.

Does He desire our worship? Of course He does. However, even God’s desire is not like our desire. Ours is imperfectly one-dimensional. When we desire something, it’s because we are not satisfied, either out of true need or out of sin. Obviously, God is never “not satisfied” in these same ways. God’s desire for us and our worship is out of His love for us.

I think that God desires our worship because we need it. We were created to worship. We are not self-sufficient and this lack of sufficiency creates a vacuum (and nature – including our spiritual nature – abhors a vacuum). We then worship (i.e. give worth to) that which will seem to fill that vacuum. So, it’s unavoidable that we will worship something, whether it’s God or some wannabe substitute (also known as an idol).

God is our creator and our only true source for everything, and therefore, He is the only thing worthy of our worship. Creation, mankind included, simply does not work right without its focus being on God. If we worship something else, it’s like trying to run a gasoline engine with water; we simply will not operate properly. We need to plug in to God as our source, and that is what worship is intended to do.

I’ve heard it said that the Christian life is one of “enlightened self-interest,” and that’s probably a good way to look at it. I compare it to being in love – most of you can probably relate. We become completely focused – even obsessed – with another person. But, at the same time, it’s all because of us. Being in love is probably one of, if not the most, selfish human states to be in. When we are in love with someone, it’s because of what we want (we want them to love us back). Of course, as love matures, we also learn to sacrifice our wants for the wants of others. But, even then, we benefit in the long run. This is even truer when we make sacrifices for God. I firmly believe we are the true beneficiaries of anything we give to God.

Apples & Oranges

Earlier, I said that the main problem with the “it’s not about you” thing is that we’ve confused apples and oranges. This is very easy to do, because “it’s not about you” is not a complete thought. “It” is not defined, and so we make the very elementary mistake (again, because it sounds so spiritual) of putting it in inappropriate contexts.

The complete thought should be, “it’s not about what you can do; it’s about what Christ has done.” We can do nothing to gain or even contribute to our salvation (“it is not by works, lest any man should boast”) or our sanctification (“Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh?”). It’s clearly all about Jesus and the ongoing work of the Spirit.

The Proper Context

Whenever someone falls into a performance-based, do-more-try-harder mindset, that’s when we should shout “it’s not about you!” from the housetops. Even our good works have been “prepared in advance for us to do.” We cannot take credit for anything, because in this, the proper context, “it’s not about [what] you [do].”

There is a weird twist to performance-based thinking that results in what I will call a “welfare” mentality that results in various egocentric behaviors, including becoming Scrooge-like or like the Prodigal Son. It’s essentially a disregard for true relationship with God, in which it does become in a person’s mind, “all about them.” God still may be seen as provider, but instead of knowing they deserve nothing and can do nothing of themselves, they imagine themselves as being owed something by God. The person has essentially put themselves in God’s place. In this scenario, it’s also appropriate to say, “It’s not about you.” (It may also be appropriate to slap them.)

Again, however, we must be careful not to take the “it’s not about you” concept out of context; for we find over and over in the Scriptures that “it” – that is, what God is doing – really is about us. Consider the story of the Prodigal Son, and what the father told the elder brother: “Everything I have has always been yours.” For that matter, consider the lilies of the field…

Matthew 24:34 says, "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.’” See who the kingdom is for? Who has been made joint heirs with Christ? In Luke 12:32, Jesus tells us, “… your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.”

David was someone who knew (most of the time) that God was for him. Look at Psalm 23: “You set a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” David understood that God’s table was set for him, not to be a servant, but to sit down and eat. The Song of Songs as well shows us God’s passion for us and His desire to bless us. You see, it – that is, everything – is for us.

If we fail to grasp this truth, that the Good News of the Kingdom is all about good news for us, that the Father loves us and truly wants to give us everything He has, then we’ve missed it. At that point, we’ve got nothing. We can work and work and serve till the cows come home, but like the elder son, it benefits us not. The Father’s banquet table is prepared for us, but we have to be willing to say “this is for me” and sit down at the banquet table and eat. If we don’t, we starve, and we have nothing to share with others, either.

Here, again, is the curious thing: “it’s all about us” and “it’s all about Jesus” are not mutually exclusive statements. Don’t you see? God gets all of the glory when we sit down at the feast, which is all for us. Everything God is doing in the world is about us – and He gets all the glory. Halleluiah! It’s a great setup.

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